Today I turn 58.
Like a lot of people, birthdays always make me pause and reflect. I briefly entertained the idea of writing “58 Lessons I’ve Learned.”
Then reality set in.
Not because I don’t have 58 lessons to learn, but because I quickly realized that the most meaningful lessons aren’t the ones I’ve already learned—they’re the ones I’m still learning. Besides, if we’re being honest, none of us has time to read that!
So instead, here are eight lessons I’m still learning. They’re not lessons I’ve mastered. In fact, some of them I have to learn over and over again. But together, they’ve shaped who I am today and who I’m still becoming.
1. Your body is not your enemy.
Our bodies are changing every single day, and every stage of life brings new challenges. It can be frustrating when our bodies don’t respond the way they once did, but treating them like the enemy isn’t the answer.
What has helped me is shifting my mindset from trying to force my body to fit a certain mold to asking, “How can I best support my body right now?” Sometimes the answer is strength training. Sometimes it’s better nutrition. Sometimes it’s more rest or simply giving myself a little more grace.
For much of my life, I believed that a smaller body was automatically a better body. I don’t believe that anymore.
These days, I’d rather be strong than simply small. I want muscles that help me lift heavy things, legs that carry me through all the miles, and a body that’s healthy enough to enjoy whatever adventures come next.
For the first time in my life, it feels like my body and I are on the same team. Instead of fighting against it, I’m learning to work with it—and that’s been one of the greatest gifts of getting older.
2. Strength is so much bigger than muscles.
It’s no secret that I’ve become a big fan of building muscle. There’s something incredibly empowering about discovering that you’re stronger than you thought you were.
But over the years I’ve realized that strength has very little to do with what happens in the gym.
Real strength is having the courage to get back up after you’ve been knocked down. It’s trying again after an injury, a disappointment, or a setback. It’s choosing to believe that every challenge has something to teach you, even when the lesson isn’t obvious in the moment.
Some of the strongest people I know aren’t the ones who can lift the heaviest weights—they’re the ones who refuse to let life’s obstacles define them. They learn, they adapt, and they keep moving forward.
Ironically, I’ve found that as I’ve become physically stronger, I’ve also become mentally and emotionally stronger. And I think the reverse is true as well. The more resilient we become on the inside, the more confidence we have to discover what we’re capable of on the outside.
3. It’s never too late to start something that scares you.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that growth usually begins just outside of our comfort zone.
This year, I did two things that I never would have imagined just a few years ago.
The first was yoga.
I’d tried it here and there over the years, but never really enjoyed it. More than that, I wasn’t comfortable enough to walk into a studio and practice in front of other people. Then I found a welcoming community where I felt safe to be a beginner. Now, every class is an opportunity to learn something new, become a little stronger, and appreciate what my body is capable of.
The second was helping launch Fuel Your Fire.
A year ago, it wasn’t even on my radar. If someone had told me I’d be starting a new business at 57, I probably would have laughed. But saying “yes” to that opportunity has been one of the most rewarding decisions I’ve made. Working alongside an incredible group of women to build something we’re truly passionate about has stretched me, challenged me, and inspired me in ways I never expected.
Both experiences have reminded me of something important: being a beginner isn’t something to avoid—it’s something to embrace.
You don’t have to have everything figured out before you start. Sometimes all you need is the courage to take that first step and trust that you’ll grow along the way.
I’m so grateful I did.
4. Community changes everything.
Looking back, I realize that building community has always been woven into my life, even before I recognized it as one of my greatest passions.
When I joined a running group in 2012, I thought I was simply looking for people to run with. What I found was so much more. I found encouragement, accountability, friendships, and a group of people who believed in me long before I believed in myself. They cheered me on as I chased new goals, and when I decided to turn my love of running into coaching, they were some of my biggest supporters. Many of those friendships are still an important part of my life today.
Fuel Your Fire is another chapter in that story. Yes, we’re creating a women’s wellness business, but we’re also creating a place where women can connect, learn, support one another, and realize they don’t have to navigate life alone. That’s the kind of community I want to be part of—and the kind I hope to help build for others.
I’ve been incredibly fortunate to be surrounded by an amazing and diverse community of family, friends, runners, coaches, and now business partners. Every one of them has shaped who I am in some way.
One of the greatest lessons I’ve learned is that we were never meant to do life alone. Find your people. Cheer them on. Let them cheer for you. Community truly does change everything.
5. The scale tells one story.
This is a lesson I’ve had to learn over and over again, but I think it’s finally starting to stick.
When I look back at my relationship with the scale, I realize something surprising. The times when the number was exactly what I thought it should be were actually some of the unhealthiest seasons of my adult life.
For years, I gave that one number far too much power. I believed it could tell me whether I was succeeding or failing, healthy or unhealthy, worthy of celebrating or needing to “do better.”
Now I know that the scale tells only one small part of the story.
Don’t get me wrong—I still have days when that number gets into my head. Old habits don’t disappear overnight. But I’m learning to pay attention to other numbers, too.
The weight on the barbell.
The miles my legs can carry me.
My blood work.
My energy level.
The quality of my sleep.
The laughter I share with friends.
The adventures my body allows me to experience.
Those numbers tell a much richer story than the one staring back at me from the bathroom floor.
The scale may have a voice, but it no longer gets the final say.
6. Joy deserves to be scheduled.
Life has a way of filling every empty space on our calendars if we let it. Between work, family, responsibilities, and the never-ending to-do list, it’s easy to convince ourselves that joy can wait until everything else gets done.
The problem is… there will always be something else to do.
I’ve learned that if something brings you joy, it deserves a place on your calendar just as much as a meeting or a doctor’s appointment.
Sometimes that joy looks like coffee with a friend. Sometimes it’s a date night with my husband. Sometimes it’s a hike, a run, or a yoga class. And if I’m really lucky, it’s spending time with my granddaughter—or even better, having the whole family together.
Those moments aren’t distractions from life. They are life.
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that joy isn’t something we stumble upon. It’s something we choose to make room for. And the more intentionally I schedule it, the richer my life becomes.
7. Never stop becoming.
For a long time, I thought there would come a point in life where I’d finally have it all figured out. That I’d reach a certain age and simply settle into who I was.
Instead, I’ve discovered that one of the greatest gifts of getting older is realizing that we’re never finished becoming.
I’m still chasing that elusive 50K. I’m still learning yoga. I’m still reading, studying, and learning everything I can about running so I can become the best coach I can be. I keep raising my strength goals because I’ve discovered I’m capable of more than I ever imagined. And I’m helping build a business that didn’t even exist a year ago.
None of those things are about proving something to anyone else. They’re about continuing to grow into the person I want to become.
I hope I never stop setting new goals, asking new questions, trying things that scare me, or discovering strengths I didn’t know I had.
Because as long as I’m willing to learn, I’ll keep growing.
And as long as I keep growing, I’ll never stop becoming.
8. The best gift I’ve received isn’t another birthday.
It’s perspective.
At 58, I’ve realized that I don’t have to prove anything to anyone anymore. I don’t have to chase someone else’s definition of success or compare my journey to anyone else’s.
I simply have to keep showing up.
To care for my body.
To keep getting stronger.
To say yes to new adventures.
To invest in the people I love.
To build community.
To make room for joy.
To keep learning.
To keep growing.
To keep becoming.
I don’t know exactly what this next year will bring, but that doesn’t make me nervous—it makes me excited. There are still races I want to run, places I want to explore, women I hope to encourage, and dreams I haven’t even imagined yet.
If these first 58 years have taught me anything, it’s that our lives aren’t defined by the number of birthdays we’ve celebrated, but by how willing we are to keep embracing what’s next.
Here’s to another trip around the sun—and to continuing to become the person I’m meant to be.
Coach Kareen 